Betcha didn’t know that February was International Friendship Month. Yeah, yeah, I know, the month that just passed. Still, there’s never a bad time to fit in a call or a hug or a shout-out to someone you care about if you haven’t been good about it lately. Right?
Here are a few interesting facts I read about friendship while surfing the net:
Friendship can extend your life.
Animals can have friends, even beyond their species.
Babies can recognize the emotion of friendship at 9 months of age.
I don’t doubt for a moment the importance of friends in my life. Truth is, though, I’m not always a very good friend myself. Reaching out and staying in touch can be difficult. Lucky for me, I have friends who understand me (they tolerate my introversion). They are better about calling or texting. They keep us in touch.
During February my friend Kathy invited me and two other women to spend a weekend playing at her house. (In this instance, playing means being pampered.) She instigated an overdue gathering of our Happy Hour, a group of four women who met at a neighborhood pool in 1991. Back then we were all Southern transplants suddenly living the lives of stay-at-home moms with young kids. Somehow pool gatherings evolved into Friday afternoon whine-over-wine dates (white Zin, veggies and dip for us; Kool-Aid and Cheetos for the kids). We were there for one another...when our littles stepped on our hands...when our trying teens stomped on our hearts. When our Happy Hour kids celebrated graduations and marriages, we were right there leading the toasts. The most recent jewels in our crowns? Welcoming grands to the Happy Hour fold.
At our recent Happy Hour get-together we enjoyed more upscale wine, private rooms and baths, fresh flowers and peppermint soap, an afternoon of boutique shopping, and a two-hour long dinner out. My friends even played along with my suggestion that we each choose and share a personal word of the year, our theme, so to speak, to help keep us moving forward.
I can’t deny that I miss the long-ago years when I saw my friends more often (and we could party later into the night). Yet I relish our friendship today. Isn’t it magical that an acquaintance can become a friend, and then maybe even a good friend, or perhaps the quintessential intimate friend? Isn’t it healthy for us to allow our friendships to ebb and flow and transform throughout the different stages of our lives?
Having a ton of friends has never been that important to me. Having friends I can trust and strongly connect with has. Knowing I’ve lost connection with friends who’ve meant a great deal to me throughout the years...well, that’s on me. I won’t beat myself up for it, but I’ll try to do better. Each friend has opened up a world in me, whether we’ve crossed paths in school, through our love of art and writing, at church, through family ties, in the ‘hood, at work, during book club, or through myriad other avenues that slip my mind at the moment. I enjoy having friends (or good acquaintances) who are not a mirror image of me but who are of different cultures and different generations.
Speaking of different generations, does anybody really do friendship like a kid?
Given that kids are such experts at friendship and the art of play, I thought I'd ask my almost seven-year-old grandson Britton for a few of his views on friendship. Here's part of our discussion:
Me: “What is a friend?”
Britton: “A friend is someone you play with a lot...or you know a lot about them.”
Me: “What’s a good way to make a friend?”
Britton: “Start to know them …and start playing with them. Start talking about yourself. Tell them what you like, and you tell them what you don’t like. They might have something in common. Then they might say “’Let’s be friends.’”
Me: [trying to come up with a less sterile word for ‘acquaintance’] “What do you call someone who’s not your friend yet but you think they could become one?”
Britton: [thinking....] “Well, first I ask them their name. And when they tell me it, that’s what I call them.”
Me: “Do you think there are different kinds of friends?”
Britton: “Yes. They might have differences like they don’t have anything in common. If I have two friends that aren’t friends, I’ll ask them to see if they’re related somehow. They might have questions, and I’ll see if they like the same type of [TV] show. But it’s okay if it’s not the same. Having differences is okay.”
Me: “What are some words you’d use to describe a good friend?”
Britton: “Funny. Playful. Hilarious. Kind. Strong. Weird. Kind of interesting (knowing a lot of interesting stuff).”
Me: “Do your friends ever drive you crazy?”
Britton: “No. Not that much.”
Me: “Anything else you have to say about friends?”
Britton: “No, I’m all out.”
(Me again here.) Yeah, I know, the month to celebrate friendship is pretty much over. Still, there’s never a bad time to fit in a call or a hug or a shout-out to someone you care about if you haven’t been good about it lately. Even better, won’t you join me in vowing to celebrate our friendships all year long? I mean, friends rock. Don't you agree?
Cheers! J
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