Doesn’t the word QUEST sound exotic? It brings to mind the hero’s journey, the mission to seek something important. That makes questing sound like a lofty pursuit.
But what if it doesn’t have to be?
What if a quest can be something quite small, something we do for ourselves, completely apart from life’s other to-dos? Who’s to say if setting aside ten minutes each day to sketch or doodle is any less of a quest than scaling a mountain?
When it comes to personal quests, do you know who gets to decide what is important? You do! Not a boss. Not a spouse (unless you set out on a couple’s quest). Not even the President of the United States.
So here’s my challenge: If you feel like you’re in a slump, why not rekindle your zest with a personal quest!
Here are a just a few ideas:
JUST FOR YOU…
A Gratitude Quest: Choose one thing each day that makes you grateful. Write it down or share it with someone special. I tried a variation of this with my favorite husband, Rice, suggesting that before going to sleep each night, we name one thing about the other partner that makes us grateful. The first night, he recited maybe a dozen very nice things about me. He did it in a way that symbolically tied a ribbon around the whole list that pronounced our quest DONE! Kind of took the wind out of my sails for developing a new nightly ritual.
A Forgiveness Quest: Each and every day, let go of ONE thing. (In the case of my Gratitude Quest above, I moved on, even though Rice messed it up.)
A Dorky Quest: When I was a kid, my friend, Dianne Reed, and I set out on a pickle quest. We concocted a slew of edible combinations for serving pickles. And then we ate them! Can’t say I’ve craved another pickle and marshmallow sandwich since that day, but, hey, our Best Pickle Combo Quest provided a sense of personal satisfaction—and fun!—at the time.
JUST FOR COUPLES…
A Quest to Add Spice Outside of the Kitchen: How about a game of Scrabble? One where you only make words for the board that pertain to love. For added fun, if you make a word that’s a verb, you must act out!
A Quest to Enjoy a Six-Second Kiss…Every Single Day: Okay, young lovers. (If anyone young even reads this!) At various stages in a relationship, the daily kisses can get a bit perfunctory. I didn’t think too much about this until I tripped over a study claiming that couples who kiss for at least six seconds each day live years longer than those who don’t. Interesting. Was the article based on an empirical study? Who cares? A six-second kiss every day is already a win!
A Quest to Keep the Surprises Coming: For this one, rotating turns, each partner plans ONE surprise date every month. That partner marks the time of their date on a calendar. Several hours before the date starts, the planner reveals what to wear, where to meet him/her, and all the other details of the date. This one’s fun, I promise. Rice and I discovered the Fainting Goats Vineyards in Jasper, Georgia, through a quest just like this. (P.S. to Rice: We need to start doing this again.)
JUST FOR FOOLS…
A Quest for Some Goodhearted Couple’s Competition - Our friends John and Heather have an annual contest they hold at their holiday gathering each December. Before the party begins, they each bake a cake from scratch. Without sharing who made which, they ask guests to taste them both and choose their favorite. John and Heather appear to be good sports and do this all with a sense of fun. (Then again, maybe they’re just good actors. Plus, who knows how things pan out after the party is over?)
A Quest to Lose Weight More Quickly Than Your Partner – Not recommended for couples, unless they’re both of the same gender. Because every female under heaven knows, males lose weight a sh*t ton faster than females do. Arrrrgh.
A Quest to Add Spice to a Long-Term Marriage: Our friends Karen and Gary have invented a game they call “If I Die First…” The game consists of one partner asking each other the question, filling in the dots, and then both partners answering it. For instance, “If I die first, would you remarry?” or “If I die first, what big-tag purchase would you make that I’ve always nixed?” Granted, this one may sound odd, but whatever works, right?
JUST FOR ROAD TRIPS…
A Quest for the Best Off-the-Beaten-Track Diner: This one’s easy these days with Google and other online apps. During road trips, allow time to dine at obscure places. Agree up front on how far off the track these can be (maybe a max of ten miles) and whether they have to meet certain public health codes. (I recommend this.) Rice especially loves this quest.
A Quest to Find the Best Donut Shop Evah: Again, Rice loves this one, too. He’s especially fond of checking out apple fritters. We’ve had some pretty damned good ones…in Billings, Montana and Madison, Wisconsin, to name an example or two.
A Quest to Visit Every [Fill in the Blank Here]: Maybe you’d like to visit every national park in the U.S. Or the top five amusement parks in the country. My friend, Cindy, grew up in a military family. Now retired, she’s on a quest to revisit every town where she ever lived. Lucky Cindy, her husband, Charlie, enjoys this quest, too.
SPEAKING OF ROAD TRIPS…
Before the pandemic, Rice and I looked at how many of the United States we’d seen together throughout the years. We’d visited over forty, which brought to mind a grand idea: What if we went on a quest to finish visiting all fifty states? Together.
In 2024, we did just that. (Yay, us.) Then somehow that led to another personal quest for me: to record our shenanigans for posterity. So I wrote a book: ONE WRONG TURN AT A TIME: How We Maneuvered Fifty States, Forty-Five Years & One Marriage.
I’m excited to say, ONE WRONG TURN AT A TIME is scheduled to launch on May 16th. Please sign up for my newsletter for more details, coming your way soon!
Cheers ~ Jan
